unconscious | almost; 03.01

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How do you feel about ” almost “?

Have you ever felt a pain more bitter than unrequited? Or felt ecstasy exceeding the moment of a love fulfilled?

There is a feeling, an event or two or more— of almosts. It’s being on the brink, at the edge of something bound to happen… but doesn’t. On the edge of your own exploring emotions before capping off. A volcano threatening to burst only to fizzle out— fireworks.

The light up momentarily.

It is an amalgamation of having too much feeling with the resolve to ignore it.

How do you almost fall in love?
— hold his hand? or hers!
— tempted but resolute to hold back.
— saying the words at the tip our tongues, only to bite back.

How do you almost be in love?

I imagine, it’s far too easy to be at the brink of something. There is no risk, but it is far more painful being in a undefined place.

A heart that can neither hold on or let go, as if in purgatory— unable to move on.

A place drowning in vagueness.

It must be suffocating.

Almost reached out and spoken to him. Maybe I almost called out your name so he’d turn. Perhaps, I have been in this void. And relished in the certainty of never having my feelings acknowledged.

Or celebrated in reciprocated sentiments.

I was almost there.

unconscious | a dive

This is a current project I am working on. It is going to be a zine featuring art inspired by my writing. This is a screenshot of what to look forward to as far as my mind & writing is to go by.

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