this is how i loved i was bleu in every sort of way even before he touched my heart i guess i never noticed but i painted you in contrast, bright and overly beautiful in every which way. kind heart understanding fun touching caring. i envied your beauty to my beast. with you there was music and there was childhood. there were smiles and times of being playful. i liked that and i stuck to that. i touched colors like oranges reds yellows and all the warmth, i gave credit to you because i was cold, i was lost, and i was bleu. i look for the shiny not necessarily new. if you were broken i didn’t mind as long as together we could build and grow. i was excited by that, by the sheer comfort that you would love me back. and it was good for a while, i liked how you stared protected loved me and never asking for anything more than mutual understanding. it hurt how you left. how they all left one by one. i learned how to love deeply when i held on for years thinking that maybe, just maybe, you’d finally see me not just as a friend. not just the girl next door. not just your best girl. not just on Sundays. i was never anything else but bleu you, maybe, the contrast to the brilliant, to the stars, the moon. i loved every single moment and i was afraid to admit that for a long time because this is how i loved, i loved in silence.