Who I am… what I am has been greatly shaped by the writings of Jane Austen. It’s only natural that I feel a connection with Austen that must be understood even at a low level by the person who will call himself my better half.
There are fandoms and addictions, then there’s Jane Austen’s words.
Why do I even mention this?
Horoscopes. I’m extremely feeling positive about love recently and my horoscopes haven’t calmed the optimism in me one bit. Rather, it’s fed the fires with more kindling. I always find it interesting how my perception of love evolves with time.
I used to be quite a hopeless romantic growing up. I’m sure I’ve retained some of that hopelessness through the years. Though that may be true, there’s also this beautiful realistic outlook I have with falling in love.As you know, I own a little black book of love letters and random thoughts.
Just how random? Well, there’s quite a few confessions on the hardships of life to what I’ve eaten that particular day. It’s a diary, a journal, and collection of what my heart feels.
With the horoscopes this year from my astrological, Chinese, and Vedic, there’s been a big overlap of “partnership”.
It’s funny that it says that. I’ve yet to pass the halfway point of my journal but as time has passed since that post, I’ve slowly been able to let go of ideals and perfection. It’s not what love is. I think, it’s also from writing so much—writing in the journal, here on my blog, and in my story with Georgiana. I’ve been writing and writing. I’m at a point where no more words need to be said. Part of the reason why I write and write is because of Jane Austen. My love for the written word, I’m sure she solidified it for me. Even though my writings have nothing to do with the person, I believe that it’s a part of me and is, therefore important. By extension, Jane Austen is important.
What are the chances they don’t like her? It’d probably break my heart. Just the same as if he thought reading, in general isn’t his thing. That’s most likely a deal breaker for me… Is that crazy? He can like whatever genre he prefers but to not like reading at all! That would totally throw me off.
I may draw the line in a lot of areas…
Must love Disney or like. Anime? Manga? Art? Music—open to all languages. I’m such a big listener of international music, not being able to would break my heart. Right now, I’m back to Kpop but before it was all French music (because I was learning French but have currently postponed that). I love love love French music. Plus, since I was born in the Philippines, I obviously love OPM. There’s also other Eastern music: Mandarin, Cantonese, and Japanese. Spanish music! Okay. I digress.
He just has to be open to the world, I suppose.
My horoscope says though that he is unlikely my type. So, will we not agree in hobbies?
I think, the most important thing from my horoscope involving love is that it tells me that the things I’ve been focusing on now lends itself to opening that world to me—the world of being in love… again…
Which I should admit…
I have someone in my mind at the moment.
And now that I have admitted that… I feel quite strange about the feelings bubbling inside. I’m thinking of finishing the book first before completely resigning ownership of the complete secret. For now, only knowing I do like someone should be enough.
I need to be more sure of the feelings lest they only be lingering feelings from before.
Er… That said, here’s some wise parting words quoted from my favorite author:
“I wish, as well as everybody else, to be perfectly happy; but, like everybody else, it must be in my own way.” —jane austen, Sense and Sensibility
(I’m pretty sure Elinor said that… she was always the one I related to in the novel.)
I’m more Anne Elliot of Persuasion though.
Ooh. Another topic to discuss?